One of the most interesting things I have seen while teaching clients from generation and X and the baby boomers is their dedication to stay the course of a traditional lifestyle.
9-5 job.
Marriage.
Kids.
I think we can agree that this was the old way of looking at fulfillment and purpose in life and it held true. And for many of us, it still does today.
I was no exception to the rule. At one point in my life, i was in the same place. I had worked at the same institution for over 5 years and as the years progressed I continuingly found the same thought coming up in my mind.
“ Is this all there is?”
The thought of a stable occupation held no excitement in my life and I was dying for a reason to leave and at the same time dreading the thought of change.
This isn’t unique.
Many of us often have dreams of leaving it all behind and chasing some starry-eyed dream yet few of us believe it is possible and fewer of us act on it.
I was one of the reckless few who decided to throw the dice and take the leap.
As I traveled for work doing live speaking events the most common statements I heard were “ I wish I have a life like yours” or “ You’re living the dream”.
This was often followed up by the question “ How did you do it?”
Although this seems like the most prudent question to follow, don’t give in to that impulse. You should be asking WHY instead.
This may seem harsh or hard to swallow but stay with me. If this triggers you, it’s the more reason why you should stay until the end.
1) Live your life for you
As a young man I was told that if you don’t live your life for you, you’ll end up living it for someone else.
It took a while for the message to have an impact on me until I realized the time I had wasted doing something that bored me to tears for money that was collecting dust in my bank account.
This prompted the thoughts and questions that we are fearful to answer honestly.
“ If someone could pay me for doing something i loved, what would that thing look like? What would that job be?”
This is quickly followed by trying to convince yourself that it isn’t possible, yet internally, that longing never quite disappears but instead lives in your soul and stays dormant until your later years.
Ask the right questions and more importantly, answer them honestly. Going to your grave with regrets is seldom a consolation prize you’d want.
2) Don’t be normal, be exceptional
Now, the retort to what I’ve said above is usually “ Come on, be realistic”.
I find that to be a less than satisfactory response for multiple reasons;
- No one ever lives an exceptional life by being realistic
- Reality is determined by your thoughts and beliefs.
- People who aim to be “ realistic” may hit their goals but if they don’t, they fall short and where does that leave them? Mediocrity?
At the risk of going off into a rant, these are the first 3 thoughts that come to my mind.
The dreamer or exceptional person lives a life without these restraints, he ignores them and his courage is rewarded. As the saying goes “ fortune favors the bold”.
As I mentioned above, reality can be completely different from one person to another. But the constant is that it is crafted by your thoughts and beliefs and the actions that follow.
If you can change the way your mind interprets normality or reality you change your lifestyle into something extraordinary.
I learnt the hard way to always have big goals and big dreams. The beauty behind adopting this thought is that if you have a huge goal you wish to achieve you’re either going to hit it or fall short.
Let’s say you only reach 60% of the goal and you fall short. This is still substantially higher than what you would have achieved if you made a small, more realistic goal.
I won’t deny achieving small goals does offer a degree of satisfaction but if they are not directed towards a larger dream they purely offer false hope of progress and achievement. You end up driving in circles.
